Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Updated Definitions of Old Terms

Ever thought that some terms just don't make sense? Here are a few that have come to my mind lately...feel free to add too my list!

Pink Eye: Profuse green gunk that usually results from the rubbing of infected nose snot into the eye. Most fun in the morning when the eye is swollen shut and you have a baby that doesn't understand why his eye won't open. Regardless, the eye is anything but pink.

Whisper: Tone of voice that 5-year-old uses the second you have finally rocked your exhausted, 1-year-old to sleep. It's certainly not a normal tone of voice, but you are quite certain that your neighbor across the street could make out what your child said. "But Mom, you said to whisper! That's what I did!"

Coffee: Heaven-sent liquid. Add chocolate OR milk OR whipped cream (or even better..all 3!) and you have just made yourself a good day. If someone else made it for you, you have just had a great day. Also known as toothpicks for the eyelids.

Baby: What all grown men resort to when they have any of the following: toothache, headache, sore throat, upset stomach, stubbed toe, etc. etc. This requires going to bed, closing the door, and turning on ESPN until the poor baby falls asleep. Not that I'm naming names. I'm not. I'm just saying.


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