Friday, May 14, 2010

Looking up...

I do believe that things may be looking up. Not that they were entirely looking down but I may be feeling a little better. I didn't realize how bad I was feeling until I started not feeling so bad. So anyone else out there live with migraines? Mercy me, I think we need a support group. I think our spouses need a support group too. And then I think our friends need a support group too, because I think they don't know what to do with us. I am pretty sure my 3 closest friends thought I was depressed or going off the deep end when truly all I wanted to do was pull my head off the top of my body because it just plain hurt ALL THE TIME. Yes, it's true, a pretty-much-constant-headache can cause one to be a little emotional. But I know depressed, and I promise you (and them!) it wasn't depression. It was PAIN.

Living with migraines is miserable. Miserable. No other way to describe it. I've had migraines since I was 20. Started in college, after the stress of finals was over. I guess I could count myself as somewhat lucky, in that I didn't get a headache until the stress was done. But man, it would be a doozy. And the family history of migraines spans pretty much every single woman on my mom's side. I remember vividly the times when my parents' bedroom door would be closed, shades drawn and my dad would be whispering "Mommy's got a headache, we need to go downstairs and be quiet." Now the legacy continues. Zoe asking me gently, "Mommy, can I rub your head to make it better?"

So after getting 2-3 BAD headaches a week, I finally decided to call a neurologist. Guess what they said? Maybe we can see you in July. Hmmm. Well, the wonderful doctor I work with decided to try one other medication to get me through until July. And guess what? It is working! I am very cautiously optimistic and do feel some unusual side effects, but have had 1 headache in 2 weeks. I am thrilled with that, but being the headache pessimist that I am, I continue to take 1 day at a time. My body has always responded physically to stressors that are happening in my life and let's just say I have a few going on right now. So I know that is a big part of it. I am continuing to exercise as best I can--kickboxing is great stress relief!--but I am looking forward to some of the external stressors being eliminated so I can focus a little more on the internal, and getting things "right" again. So...migraines in a nutshell. There you go.

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