It Matters

Do you ever question if God is really paying attention to all the minute, somewhat boring details of our lives? I do. I have absolutely no doubt that He is actively working, doing big things in big places. I was the blessed participant in a conference this weekend put on by Christian author Beth Moore. It was a simulcast done nationwide--300,000 women participated across the country. That's huge. God working through that? No doubt. But in my little life, in my tiny little corner of the universe? Is that really worthy of His time and attention? Let me tell you a little about my week last week.

I know my stories about Zoe breaking her glasses--twice in one day no less--and Tate coloring all over the house in less than 5 minutes with an orange Sharpie are funny and maybe even make you feel a little sorry for me. Trust me, I feel a little sorry for myself sometimes! When I really don't have any reason to feel sorry for myself. I am blessed. More than blessed.

A couple of small, but magnificent, things happened this week. Yes, my husband was gone. Yes, it is hard when he's gone. I get to manage the feeding, bathing, scheduling, transportation, etc. etc. for all 4 kids by myself. It's tricky but totally do-able. I really shouldn't complain about it like I do...but complain I do (as you all get to read about!). On Monday I think it was, I get a phone call from a dear dear friend, saying that she wanted to bring us dinner this past week when Buck was gone. As I got the message, my first thought was, "geez, Laura, you must sound really pathetic, that your friends think they need to bring you dinner!" I was quickly reminded, though, how many times I have been in the position of wanting to do something to help someone. And sometimes that something is making a meal. This was my friend's offer of help. Now why in the world would I turn down an offer of a wonderful meal (because this girl can COOK!)...pride? proof of self-reliance? stubbornness? not wanting to be a burden to someone? Those really aren't very good qualities, are they? I fought my instinct to say "no" and said a happy yes. And yes, it was wonderful!!! God provided such a simple but beautiful blessing to me and my family. Thank you, Sarah.

But there's more. Buck and I are pretty disciplined with our budget. We live on a cash budget system (this could probably be another whole post!) but the last couple of months, I have been "pushing it" shall we say and getting pretty close to going over budget toward the end of the month. And it seems like I just do not plan ahead and always run out of gas on the second to last day of the month and I end up putting a fill-up on the credit card, which I hate doing. It's not like we can't afford it, but to me it just shows me, once again, month after month, my shortfall in my ability to plan ahead. I was very much anticipating the same thing happening this month, as of course, I overdid it again at Target this month--the warm days got to me, and I bought the kids a bunch of summer stuff that they probably don't need! I'm weak like that! But on Wednesday, out of the blue, I got a gift card for $25 for a gas station in the mail. I knew where it had come from and it made sense, but the timing of it was amazing. I literally laughed out loud when I got it! Wow, God. Another little nudge to me, to show me that He cares. It's not like we NEED the gas card to survive. But it was a sweet little blessing and gift.

And there's more. I teach Sunday school for Charlie's class each week. It is one of the highlights of my week. But it can be tiring too, and because our Sunday school happens at the same time as our worship service, I don't always get to go to worship and actually haven't been to worship with Buck in months--he goes while I am teaching, and then I sometimes go for the second service while he takes the kids home. It's not perfect but it works. Again, out of the blue, my dear friend Annie (the best children's ministry director EVER!) called me last night and left me a message, saying "hey, take the morning off. Go to worship with Buck. I have it covered. Just enjoy the morning!" I cannot tell you what a challenge that probably created for Annie. Turns out she ended up teaching my class herself, but she was completely blessed by that as well--as the children's ministry director, she doesn't get to do the hands-on teaching all the time that she loves and is so good at. Again, my first instinct was to say "no, no, no...I'm fine, it's not a big deal." Well, it's true, 1 hour a week isn't a big deal, but being able to attend church with my husband and feeling totally re-charged to teach next week is definitely a big deal. Again, humbling, but huge.

And my friend Marcia posted this on Facebook (who knew FB could be a way to minister to people!): Matthew 10:29-31 "Are not 2 sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." It's one of those passages that I've heard a million times, but it just had such perfect meaning to me this week. Of course, we are worth more than sparrows. Let me say it again--we are worth it. We are worth the little blessings and the big blessings. It matters to our Father.

I also looked again at the verse I have at the top of our blog, under our family's picture. "From the fullness of His grace, we have received one blessing after another." John 1:16. His grace is full, all-encompassing and more than we could ever hope for. Yes, I would have been totally fine without the precious gifts of love that I received this week. But because of God's grace, I was blessed to overflowing. And I gratefully accepted. Here's wishing you a blessed week.